How to Save a Life
by joannacamilley
Summary: "I-it's Nate. He's gone." "What? Oh, well, if you're looking for him, he's coming over-" "No, Nate's dead." Songfic to How to Save a Life by The Fray.


**One day (and by one day, I mean 2 days ago), I was looking at the lyrics to How to Save a Life by The Fray and I thought it would make an interesting story. I know this isn't how the song is meant to be interpreted, but I wanted to write about one-sided love instead of an addiction or whatever the song is about. ****I hope you enjoy because this is only my second story. :D**

* * *

Okay, I can do this. I walk into his room. He's sitting at his desk, all the lights out. Had this been a few months ago, I would find this strange, but he's been changing. He doesn't notice me yet, so I lean against his doorframe.

"Hey, Nate," I say softly. He immediately looks up with wide eyes. He looks like a kid that had been caught doing something they weren't supposed to be doing. I would laugh if I wasn't here for something serious. "We need to talk."

**Step one you say we need to talk**

Nate shakes his head, standing up. He tries to walk past me, but I block his path. "Nate, sit down, it's just a talk," I try to assure him, even though it's not just a talk.

**He walks you say sit down it's just a talk**

He sighs turning his head away from me. When he turns it back, he's politely smiling at me, as if he was only doing this not to hurt my feelings.

**He smiles politely back at you**

I just stare at him. This was totally different than the Nate before. I know something is wrong, and I have a bad feeling about it.

**You stare politely right on through**

Once the closest people ever, me and Nate have been drifting apart. I guess I never noticed it before because I have Shane now. _Shane_. My boyfriend.

**Some sort of window to your right  
As he goes left and you stay right**

What if Nate hates me for doing this to him? If what I'm thinking is right, he has feelings for me. Feelings that aren't mutual. What if he blames me for us getting further apart or me not loving him like he loves me?

**Between the lines of fear and blame**

I'm beginning to wonder why I didn't just go to Shane's house instead. Coming here will only end in pain.

**You begin to wonder why you came**

**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life**

"Nate, I know what you want. But I know what's best in this situation," I tell him, hoping we are on the same wavelength. He blankly stares at me, dropping his chivalrous charade.

**Let him know that you know best**

"Shane and I are meant to be. I know I've only been with him for a month, but I can feel it," I try to convince him that I know what's best for us.

**Cause after all you do know best **

"Please, Nate. Tell me what's wrong. I don't want to go assuming things," I say, hoping I was wrong the whole time about him being in love with me. He just ignores my question.

**Try to slip past his defense  
Without granting innocence**

I sigh; I guess I'll have to do this the hard way. "Nate, you've been acting different since me and Shane got together. You've been depressed and you always wanted to spend time with me, but not if Shane would be there too."

**Lay down a list of what is wrong**

"So if my assumptions are correct," I continue. "You love me," I put it simply. "I'm sorry but…I don't love you. I think I love Shane." Nate's mood fell drastically, it was like I had just killed his puppy in front of his eyes.

**The things you've told him all along **

_Please, God. I need him to get over this crush he has on me. It's only going to hurt our friendship. Please let him understand. Make sure he hears me._

**And pray to God he hears you  
And pray to God he hears you**

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life

"Okay,"Nate says. "You're right. But please! You never considered us together. I need you to love me!" Nate raised his voice, trying to convince me to give us a try.

**As he begins to raise his voice **

"Nate, I'm sorry, but…we can't be more than just friends," I lower my voice, trying to tell him that he can be my friend. Being my boyfriend isn't his only choice.

**You lower yours and grant him one last choice**

"We can't just befriends after this. Everything's going to change," he says, making sense, unfortunately.

**Drive until you lose the road  
Or break with the ones you've followed**

"Mitchie, either you are in my life as my girlfriend or not in my life at all," he says, giving me an ultimatum.

**He will do one of two things**

"I just can't do this anymore. You're right, I have been depressed. Seeing you and Shane together is like a stab to my heart. I can't stand it," he says brokenly.

**He will admit to everything**

"I'm not the same person you met in 6th grade. Things have changed. I have changed into more than just a friend," he says while looking deeply into my eyes.

**Or he'll say he's just not the same**

I groan; I don't want to do this. "I'm sorry, Nate. I can't be with you. I'm with Shane. You're just going to have to accept it because it's not going to change. Come over tomorrow, we need to finish this, but I have to go," I say while leaving the room, not even giving Nate a second glance. He had the nerve to give me an ultimatum! He just expected me to leave my boyfriend for him. Why did I come again?

**And you'll begin to wonder why you came  
**

Instead of going to Shane's like I had planned, I go home. It's 10:30, not extremely late, but I'm tired. Talking to Nate had taken a lot out of me. As soon as I get home, I go straight to bed.**  
**

* * *

I wake up in the morning to an annoying ringing noise. I lift my head off my pillow and look around. It was my phone, which was across the room. I groan and get up, recognizing the ringtone as Shane's. I smile as I pick it up.

"Hey, honey," I say as cheerfully as I can considering I just woke up.

"M-mitchie?" Shane's tone of voice makes the smile fall off my face. I lower my eyebrows, thinking of what could make him sound like that.

"What's wrong Shane?" I question him as I walk back to sit on my bed.

"I-it's Nate. He's gone."

"What? Oh, well, if you're looking for him, he's coming over-"

"No, Nate's dead."

I freeze. _Wh-what? _My body starts shaking as I go into shock.

"N-no, h-he can't b-be d-dead," I stutter, tears rushing down my face.

Shane sighed. "He committed suicide. Slit his wrists." I start shaking harder.

Why did he do this? Was it because of what I said yesterday? I lost my best friend because of a stupid fight. Well, it was stupid to me._ I will never know if it was stupid to him_, I sadly think.

**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness**

If only I had stayed. He wouldn't have done this if I was there. I could have talked him out of it. I could have saved a life. I could have saved **his** life.

**And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life**

I thought when he said he didn't want me in his life unless I was his girlfriend, he would ignore me, not kill himself. I guess he really did love me.

**  
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life  
How to save a life  
How to save a life**

**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life**

**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life  
How to save a life  
How to save a life**

Now that I think of it, he was right. I never gave me and him a chance. Now I never will.

* * *

**I was sad when I wrote this. I can't imagine going through that. I hope I never will. I know it's not really Nitchie, but it's kind of implied, right? It's leaning towards it, even though she's dating Shane. Please review!**


End file.
